How High
by Nimorid
Summary: Hatred is like a herpes. It disappears after some time, but eventually it will strike back. One-shot. Tseng and Cloud about Zack.


_It just... came to my mind..._

_Disclaimer: I do not own the FinalFantasy characters or places, SquareEnix does._

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HOW HIGH**

After the conflict with Sephiroth's clones, who appeared from nowhere, had been resolved, the Turks and the former members of Avalanche built up quite good relations. There had been no reason for them to fight each other anymore, as Rufus had begun to slowly rebuild the world's balance. Hatred and anger had finally gone away. Ex Shinra opponents started even helping the Turks and their cooperation had been surprisingly successful.

Although, you should always bear in mind, that hatred is like a herpes. It disappears after some time, you just have to be patient. But as you're already infused with a virus, and your immune system happens to slacken a little, it will strike back. Suddenly and with great vengeance.

***

When someone dear to you dies, you always need the time to mourn. It is healthy and has good influence on your emotional state. You have to be careful though, because if you do not stop grieving at some point, the sorrow will be everything you are left with, and it will devour you alive.

When the mourning is over, it is better to try and remember the pleasant events connected with the person. It is easier if you have someone to talk to, someone to share the memories with. To chat from time to time in order to ease the pain, and finally get rid of it entirely. There's always going to be sadness, of course, especially if there had been not only friendship, but love as well. Nevertheless the ache will fade away. It takes time, you have to be patient and work on fighting it constantly, but eventually you will be free from the pain.

Cloud and me had managed to accomplish that. Somewhere in the meantime of cleaning up the Midgar ruins and fighting lesser monsters lurking in forgotten caves and cellars, we had become quite close to each other. Without even knowing why or when, we had found each other meeting, drinking coffee or soft drinks and talking about Zack.  
At the beginning both of us had been still greatly upset by that loss, we had a grievous difficulty getting over his death.

Now it is not completely over yet, but we are helping each other a lot. I do not feel this incredible pain in my chest, when hearing or speaking his name anymore, Cloud's eyes are no longer filled with that deep despair at the mere thought of Zack.

It was one of our meetings, we were sitting on the couch in the living room of my apartment in the new Shinra facility, chatting about that boy, who was so dear to us both.  
I poured Cloud another cup of tea, and he thanked me with a short nod of his head.

'Have you been on any more missions with him?' he asked.

'On a few, yes. But they ended eventually, as the war ceased.' I said and went to the kitchenette to make another pot of tea. 'I started to seek his company outside Shinra, but he was more occupied with Aeris and you.'

'Did he notice,' Cloud leaned against the back of the couch and investigated the pattern of my china service, 'that you have feelings for him? Because, no offence, he didn't talk about you much. Only mentioned you once, or twice. And in missions context only.'

'I am not surprised.' I smiled sadly, fixing a mix of my most delicious teas. 'He was happy, I was barely an acquaintance to him. He had no purpose in mentioning me. Even if he knew.'

'I see.' Cloud sighed silently. He felt sorry for me, because he had been the one to make Zack happy. But he should not sympathize with me. He and Zack had gone through the hell together. And one of them didn't make it. That little happiness they had had was supposed to be theirs exclusively.

I returned to him, poured the fresh tea to both of our cups. Cloud smiled a little, as he was still not used to do it, and lifted his.

'You sure like tea, don't you.' He said. 'At least yours is better than that crap Cid is filling me with.'

'As far as I know, Highwind drinks only the best species?' I indicated the question with my voice, actually a little surprised.

'So he says.' Murmured the blonde. 'But I really don't like it.'

'You remember the name?'

'It was some Mideel classic stuff…' he furrowed his eyebrows and tapped his lip with a fingertip, 'something old…'

'Ancient Mideel Traditional Tea?'

'Ah, yes. That one. It was so bitter I could barely swallow it.'

'There is a reason you found it that unpalatable.' I started and my voice took a lecturing manner on its own accord. 'You are a rookie when it comes to appreciating good tea species. You would not be able to drink that one as well,' I pointed the pot, 'if I had not sweetened it for you.'

'Really?' He looked into his cup, then shrugged and drank the tea. 'Oh, well. Maybe someday I'll be able to understand you tea-freaks. Maybe not.'

I laughed softly, watching as he took another sip. My tea was slowly getting cold, untouched.

'You have your tea imported from Wutai?'

'Yes, the best one. Fortunately, I can afford myself that little luxury.'

'Being a Turk is no doubt quite beneficial.' He said. 'Even during those hard times.'

'Yes, even now.' I replied slowly, looking at him carefully. I saw him close his eyes slowly, and keep them that way for a while. He touched his temple softly. 'Something wrong?' I asked politely.

'I feel a little dizzy.'

'Maybe you should drink some more…' I suggested and he grabbed his cup and drank hungrily.

Suddenly a piece of china slipped from his hands and shattered on the floor.

'I'm sorry…' he said with effort, 'I don't know what…' he trailed off.

'I was wondering, when you will start to feel it.' I said silently, looking at him with sadness.

'What…?'

'I wish you were a real Soldier once.' I sighed and stood up, Cloud tried as well, but all he managed was to lift himself a little and then he tumbled ungracefully on the floor. 'Then you would probably be immune to it.'

'Immune to what?'

'A weakening potion.'

'What?! Tseng!' He tried to move from the floor but failed. 'What the hell are you talking about?'

I walked over to the safe hidden behind one of the paintings in the room, and opened it slowly. When I came back to Cloud holding a gun in my hand, I saw his eyes widen and his face pale as I attached the silencer.

'What… what are you gonna do? Tseng…?'

He was scared, I could see it clearly. I could not blame him though. He might be a hero, but he was only a human being after all. A human who has just been betrayed and was completely defenseless.

'You know exactly what I am going to do, Cloud.'

He desperately tried to move, but the potion was strong, it would take some hours before he would regain his strength.

But he didn't have hours.

'Was it all a game?' He asked angrily and I was grateful that due to his weakness he could not show all of his acrimony right now. I did not want him to hate me after all. 'When you approached me and offered your support?'

His eyes were fixed on my gun. He couldn't look away.

'No, it was not a game.' I replied calmly, fastening a clip. 'Those meetings with you meant a lot to me, helped me a great deal. I am thankful for them, and never meant to end everything like that. I am really sorry, Cloud.'

'So why, Tseng…? Why are you doing this?'

'Orders.'

'For fuck's sake, aren't we friends?!' He snapped, as I approached him. 'Can't you take that into consideration?!'

'I did. But that does not change a thing. There is nothing I can do. I am a Turk. And when Rufus Shinra says "Jump" I only ask him "How high".'

'Then oppose him, damn it! I thought you didn't want to be a Shinra lapdog anymore!'

'It is not a question of choice, Cloud. Not anymore.'

I saw him struggling on the floor, he even managed to sit up. I hid my surprise skillfully. He should not have been able to do this.

'Why is he making you do this..?' He spoke with effort.

'I am not really sure, I am in no position to ask him that. Though I guess he just hates you. You humiliated him numerous occasions.'

'Tseng… please… don't do this…' He looked at me, and all of the sudden he was not angry anymore, just enormously sad. But there was nothing I could do. I shook my head a little, cocked my gun and aimed.

'Say hello to Zack for me.'

'Tseng, don't…!'

'I mean it.'

The shot was silent.

***

**End**


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